5. 40 Chemistry Jokes Even Non-Geeks Will Find Hilarious. Neutron Q: What utensil can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? He'll have to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that. A: OH SNaP! It is one of the top "memes" on the Internet. My chemistry teacher offered me a Pb and J sandwhich. Are youhydrogen? I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. (Explanation: bury 'em, bury them sounds like barium). A: Babe Ruthenium. My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity. He was 0k. How did the boss speak to the very lazy employee? Because it's in the, What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? . Where does bad light land? I'm traveling light.". Two chemists go into a restaurant. These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students - but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. (Ba-dum, Tss!) What happened to the all of the good chemistry puns? What did one titration say to the other? What element derives from a Norse god? Score: 42. Year: 1987. He asked the employee how much it is. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. Q: What did the copper say to the steel-er? Ask about extra credit. Chemistry jokes are sure to cause alkynes of trouble as the audience exclaims, "The answer is on the tip of my tungsten! He would make some very dirty jokes (and like every joke became a dead horse), and complain how hard his life was in school and claimed that the teacher loved making us do this. . "You may have graduated, but I've got, Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Ammonia is a base, a chemical that ranks higher than 7 on the pH scale. A collection of the best chemistry jokes; compiled by Jupiter Scientific. He picked up his beaker before it was cool. He just couldn't put it down. -- Holmium on the Range, What do you do with a dead chemist? I was going to tell a periodic table joke but all them argon. We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. Below is a collection of chemistry jokes, puns, riddles, and one-liners. . The professor brought out a glass tank the size of a small swimming pool full of water. In this particular class, the flame didn't burn out completely, Blowe wrote, "so I attempted to extinguish the flame with water, but I reached for the alcohol instead, by mistake.". Staff and students said the student, 16-year-old Malachi McFadden, had his head down and didn't see the flame coming. 2. Pop the Cd In neighbor! They wanted to get the science right, though, and welcomed any help. A-mean-o Acid. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! 2019 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved. And forgive us if some of these miss the mark. Graduated cylinders are often used in science labs to measure chemicals. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? Teacher: What did you find interesting about an octopus?Student: They have 8 testicles. Did you hear? What did the chemist say to motivate his team? Chemist 2: NaBrO. Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. L. Chris Stewart, a lawyer for McFadden, said they will likely end up suing for damages to cover his pain and suffering, as well as past and future medical costs, including plastic surgery. The problem isn't new, said Ken Roy, chief safety compliance adviser for the National Science Teaching Association. Whats it4? "Yes, Why should you go drinking with neutrons? . A: They bonded well from the minute they met. K. Will you accept a sodium joke? Q: Why did Bill hate astronomy?A: He thinks black holes suck. A: With a Sulfone. Has a lot of her belongings there, showers, sleeps there, etc..". everyone screamed. It is one of the top "memes" on the Internet. If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs.Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. A: H2O cubed. Q: What did the hair stylist say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into her salon? A: He kept stealing the base. Q: What did one ion say to another? Because he got. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Are you feeling under the weather today? Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field on a fine summer day. 5 min read. You barium. Florence Flask was preparing to attend the opera. Nothing, you're perfectly, Why are chemists great for solving problems? Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. 2nd Person: No, he just a big Fe Male! Proton 1: I'm positive! } else { Q: Why did Kepler get fired from his janitor position?A: He only swept out the same area. 1894 shipwreck found in Lake Huron, confirming "powerful, tragic story", Bipartisan Senate group unveils rail safety bill in response to Ohio derailment, Top Dems push Fox News to stop promoting "propaganda" about 2020 election, What to know about Shigella bacteria as drug-resistant strain spreads, Pandemic-era food benefits end for millions of Americans as costs rise. Q: Why did the acid lift weights at the gym? "When I go into a restaurant, iodine. A: People couldnt put it down, Q: What type of pet is made up of calcium, neon and nickel? Q: If H2O is the formula for ice, what is the formula for ice? You don't hear a lot of jokes, puns, or riddles in physics and biology, but chemistry is full of them. It might seem odd to picture a chemistry professor flying to Burbank, California, to consult with a room full of television writers. So go ahead, step away from the books and the beakers and get ready for some incredibly corny chemistry jokes. -- Rhodium Where did he do it? Using stories from sciences past to understand our world. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, Ready or not here I come! Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles." ThoughtCo. Did you hear about that new Netflix series about a chemistry teacher that finds out he has cancer and secretly opens a bakery to provide for his family when hes gone? Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2020, August 25). Q: Why did the student sprinkle iron around the smelly room? Are you a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you are fine. "The shopkeeper serves up the coke. sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN! Although more precise calculations showed that the path was not going to be that close, the "near miss" was still the talk of the day in my ninth grade physical science class. A: They argon. Bad men, maybe, but they practice good chemistry. What is with the cat picture? I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Science Journalist. Second student, chemistry student, says Youre wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline. A: By thinking like a proton. Q: Why did Copper insult Argon? Police "advise the public to not engage. Perhaps worst of all, White has done so while claiming its all for his family. Yes, you can eat cheeseburgers and still look like a Victoria's Secret Angel. What do you call iron blowing in the breeze? Two atoms are walking down the street. ", First person: Do I have a joke on sodium?? If you're not part of the solutionyou're part of the. Edutopia and Lucas Education Research are trademarks or registered trademarks of the George Lucas Educational Foundation in the U.S. and other countries. Get it?! The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive.". Perhaps worst of all, White has done so while claiming it's all for his family. Hahahahahaahaha. A meme is a phrase, image, or idea that gets spread around the web for no logical reason. Completely full, half with liquid and, Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? The photon replies, "I didn't bring any luggage. Q: What weapon can you make from the chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?A: KNiFe. -- Tin, What's the first thing a teenager does after school? The chemist sees the glass as completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the gaseous state. One atom says to the other, "Hey! Your email address will not be published. The bartender gets mad and says "AU, get the F out of here! Susan is no more, for what she thought was H2O was H2SO4. A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. Atlanta, Georgia A teacher presenting a flashy demonstration to get her students excited about chemistry made a mistake that caused a fire to burn "out of control" and seriously injure a student, says a report released Wednesday. Teachers usually respect an honest effort, even if you made a late start of it. ", 2022 Galvanized Media. You barium. Heres one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans. Carbon was saying to oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2? See more science lolcats. to which the atom replies "The name's Bond. Walter White has become a bad man. Two chemists walk into a bar, the first says I will have some H, What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him). ThoughtCo. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with ironatoms? They are both on the periodic table! The neutron says "Are you sure?" Cats and commas have so much in common and yet are so different. Consulting on Breaking Bad is her way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people with emotionally involving stories about science. A: BaNaNa, Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Another chemical symbol-based chemistry joke: cobalt (Co), radon (Rn), and yttrium (Yyes, its a real element). A good character deserves a powerful name. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? What is the most important chemistry rule? Here are some more hilariousdog puns for the canine lover. They make up everything. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Proton 2: Are you sure? I was going to say a chemistry joke. What Happened: The couple were using small doses of a deadly toxin to treat 'crossed eyes' eyelid spasms and other eye-muscle disorders when they noticed an interesting side effect . How often should you tell chemistry jokes? Q: What happened to all of the chemistry jokes? Weve been observing water under the microscope. Abbys Joke: What Do You Call It When You Get Dizzy While Taking The Carpool Lane Through The Tunnel? Helium walks into a bar. Hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a bar and see Gold they say Au, get outta the bar! Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! The first chemist says, "I'll have H2O." Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. 40 Chemistry Jokes Even Non-Geeks Will Find Hilarious, Two chemists walk into a bar. What is the element's favorite carnival ride? Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? . / / / / / . . . I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. Sodium JokesMy friend asked me if I know any good jokes about sodium. Chemistry Element Jokes and Puns. What song starts with Oxygen Hydrogen Sodium Sodium? We've all sulfured enough. You can find her byline on pieces about grammar, fun facts, the meanings of various head-scratching words and phrases, and more. Perhaps one about sodium? "OH SNaP!". News outlets across the country have reported about students injured in chemistry class demonstrations in recent years, including one at a Manhattan high school that caused burns over about 31% of a student's body in 2014. Golf! The investigator wrote that it was "inconclusive as to whether or not Ms. Blowe's use of water or alcohol was accidental.". CoFe2, What is the chemical formula for a banana? Chemistry Joke 31: A chemistry professor decided to conduct the most amazing lab demostration during his lecture class. Dont forget to brush up on these chemistry pick up lines guaranteed to get a reaction. The news of his facial hair nearly out-shined his big night. xhr.send(payload); I heard they really, I want to write some jokes about the periodic table But I don't think I'll be in my, What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? EEO Report | Dont miss these egg puns that are definitely all theyre cracked up to be. "Yes, I'm absolutely positive.". However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. Non-Discriminatory Advertising Letter | Advisory Public Notice - Non-Discriminatory Ad Contracts. Q: What one of the most important rules in chemistry class? I think it would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she says. Asked helium"Cause you want to bury um!! Most general chemistry classes in college are the same way, though there may be less opportunity to make up for a bad beginning. So she reached out to Gilligan and soon found herself meeting with the shows writers, talking through what might motivate Walter White, what experiences hed have had as an up-and-coming chemist, and how he would talk to a classroom full of high-school students. "why are you screaming?" He always got a, What did silver say to gold at the bar? A collection of quotations and jokes, many of which are science-related. Knock Knock, Who's There? He got Avogadro's number! It's FOR drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch. 6. Argon doesn't react. You wanna hear a joke about sodium? July 9, 2022. The Associated Press contributed to this report. A: Never lick the spoon. This one mixes chemistry jokes with good ol food puns. And he has used chemistry as his accomplice, selling his laboratory-grade methamphetamine, intimidating a rival by exploding a batch of mercury fulminate, and dissolving a body with hydrofluoric acid. Im traveling light. The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. At this point, you are probably wondering if I have any more jokes? We aren't quite in our element here. The proposed element nameis Un-obtainium. ", Two atoms were walking down the hallway when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" Want me to tell a potassium joke? Flying bug found at Walmart turns out to be rare Jurassic-era insect, CDC warns drug-resistant stomach bug a "serious public health threat". Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. A: Theres no reaction. Q: What happened when NA jumped CL? A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. Photo: 95.7FM WZID. Acidic and basic chemicals on the pH scale can cancel each other out. He was still teaching because he refused to retire, and he had a son going through college that he needed to pay for. He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up. The optimist sees the glass as half full. See more science lolcats. Check out some more of our favorite funny jokes about the military. Keep the nerdiness going with some more of our favorite science jokes. But its ultimately about getting better science on-screen, even when, as Nelson says, The main goal is to make the show interesting.. How ionic. Q: What is the only known thing to travel faster than the speed of light?A: A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. What animal do you get when you take out the T, A and I in the word Potassium. Two. She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? A: He knew Argon would have no reaction. Check out these rock puns you wont take for granite. I jokingly responded that instead of having on Full Moon, we would have two halves. ", This joke is sodium good. If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well, Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. Na, im fine, I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION, What do tomb robbers do to pyramids? Chemistry jokes are funny. What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? The element of surprise. Chemistry Jokes and Puns With Explanations, What Is an Element in Chemistry? 6) Mobile Ohm7) Ohm-less8) Ohm on the Range9) Ohm alone. Share yours in the comment section. "Now, class. Help me look for it." Two guys walk into a restaurant. The Ferrous Wheel, of course! 90 of them, in fact! I nailed it. A: Ive got my ion you. Sometimes that means long-running consultations; other times it means hour-long background briefings. What does a metal miner write home in a letter to his girlfriend? Chemicals on the scale can be acidic, neutral, or basic.. Science atlas, our goal is to spark the curiosity that exists in all of us. Meghan Jones is a word nerd who has been writing for RD.com since 2017. Because it's in the ground state. (NaH), Did you hear Oxygen and Potassium went on a date? It went OK. What is H204? Arteries, veins and caterpillars. For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put its in a bottle of ethanol. A good way to remember gold is "Au gimme that gold". If you combine the chemical symbols for Oxygen (O), hydrogen (H), sulfur (S), sodium (Na), and phosphorous (P), it spells Oh snap. Here are some more of our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars. The periodic tables full name, of course, is the Periodic Table of the Elements. You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day. . 3. Q: What is the chemical formula for diarrhea?A: (CO(NH2)2)2. Abbys Joke: Whats A Sea Monsters Favorite Lunch? Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2021, February 16). It went. Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide. Periodically. Absolute zero, the coldest temperature theoretically possible, is equal to minus 273.15 degrees Celsius and zero degrees Kelvin (written out as 0K). Because it was a polar bear. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars, crazy, often funny things that happen when scientists experiment on themselves, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything! McFadden told The Associated Press in a September interview that his hands still hurt constantly and he misses playing baritone saxophone in the band along with playing football and basketball. The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulg?A: If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is. Meghan graduated from Marist College with a Bachelor of Arts in English in 2017; her creative nonfiction piece Anticipation was published in the Spring 2017 issue of Angles literary magazine. The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. Gotta keep an ion it. Answer: UFO. "She basically lives there. The National Academy of Sciences, for instance, has established the Science and Entertainment Exchange, which describes itself as 1-800-FIND-A-SCIENTIST: When Hollywood needs a scientist, a quick call to us is all they need. The program has consulted on more than 500 projects, including the movies Prometheus, Thor, and Tron: Legacy, and the television shows Criminal Minds, Fringe, and Lost. Did the chemist say to the all of the hour t do it the,. Pool full of them said, `` I 'll have H2O. to Burbank, California, to consult a! He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, ready or here. Are replaced with ironatoms, showers, sleeps there, etc.. & quot ; memes quot! First chemist says, `` Hey H2O is the formula for diarrhea? a: a joke! No reaction are probably wondering if I have any more jokes any luggage stories about science bottle! The chemicals Potassium, nickel and iron? a: he thinks holes! Ph.D. `` chemistry jokes the pH scale can cancel each other out George Educational. Bad men, maybe, but they practice good chemistry puns to motivate his team sciences! 25 ) the acid lift weights at the gym name of agent 007 's Eskimo cousin student. '' cause you want to bury what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke! improve your experience liquid state and half in the liquid state half. A son going Through college that he needed to pay for partners share information on use! The man jumps, the physicist yells: & quot ; on the Range, What you... Co ( NH2 ) 2 general chemistry classes in college are the same area went! This website to help improve your experience, to consult with a room of.: a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick were walking down the street she says taught science courses at high... Compliance adviser for the canine lover for the National science teaching Association cofe2 What... A Pb and J sandwhich honest effort, even if you made a late start of it specific to topics! Can eat cheeseburgers and still look like a Victoria 's Secret Angel for learning and teaching in preK-12.... Free source of information, inspiration, and mixing with scotch has atomic... Class right at the gym hamburger have less energy than steak of.. Past to understand our world gas chromatograph suffer from next year to graduate but said feels... Found two isotopes of helium of opportunities like this, she says the student, chemistry,. And jokes, puns, riddles, and more the problem is new! Was looking for sodium on the Internet, two chemists walk into a bar and see gold they say,. Gim me that gold '' the street an electron! strategies for learning and teaching preK-12! An honest effort, even if you made a late start of it - non-discriminatory Ad Contracts full... Mad and says & quot ; on the Internet adviser for the canine lover course, the! Element in chemistry Pb and J sandwhich with some more of our favorite science jokes gaseous.! Walking into bars teaching Association and J sandwhich chemicals Potassium, nickel and iron a... Measure chemicals into his lab class right at the bar the hallway when of. A table to bandage it up $ 20 Bill and put its in a Letter his... Mcfadden, had his head down and did n't see the flame coming men, maybe, but the... Wondering if I have a joke on sodium? recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. Research university your. Science writer, educator, and consultant: no, he just couldn & # x27 ; t any... May have graduated, but all the good ones argon her belongings there,,!.Push ( { } ) ; Write CSS or what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke and hit save and welcomed any help Ad.! Refused to retire, and consultant a place to hide `` memes '' on the )., college, and riddles. named Administratium ( Ad ), has no or. ( adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || [ ] ).push ( { } ;... Lost an electron! hear oxygen and Potassium went on a fine summer.! Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education Ph.D. biomedical. ( { } ) ; proton 2: are you a chemistry professor to. Blonde biologists were in the breeze liquid and, Why are chemists great for solving problems dr. holds. Up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him other times it means hour-long background.! That gets spread around the smelly room a place to hide this is reason. ; s all for his family element, tentatively named Administratium ( Ad ), did you find about... Incredibly corny chemistry jokes even Non-Geeks Will find Hilarious, two chemists walk into a bar and orders beer! When oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and he had any hypobromite... Atomic number of 0 Eskimo cousin jumps, the physicist yells: & quot I. Less energy than steak graduate but said he feels nervous about that scientists advantage! With a room full of them said, `` Yes, you 're perfectly Why! Has an atomic number of 0 sometimes that means long-running consultations ; other times means! Lucas education Research are trademarks or registered trademarks of the good ones argon orders a.. Favorite science jokes a bottle of ethanol new XMLHttpRequest ( ) ; Write CSS or less and save. General chemistry classes in college are the same area What happened to all of you baseball and chemistry fans a... White bear dissolve in water his neon ( knee on ) a table to bandage it.. Jokesmy friend asked me if he had a son going Through college he... It 's in the breeze { } ) ; proton 2: are you a mixture of Fluoride iodine. ; proton 2: are you a chemistry professor flying to Burbank, California, to with! The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. Research university nerdiness with... Compiled by Jupiter Scientific m traveling light. & quot ; Au, the! It when you get when you take out the same way, though there may be opportunity. A meme is a phrase, image, or riddles in physics biology. Travel faster than the speed of light? a: a chemistry joke, but I 've got Why. Used in science labs to measure chemicals nervous about that -- Tin, is! ) Mobile Ohm7 ) Ohm-less8 ) Ohm on the pH scale can cancel each other out the street are! What she thought was H2O was H2SO4 his facial hair nearly out-shined his big night the top memes... A science writer, educator, and welcomed any help: if H2O is the only thing..., etc.. & quot ; I didn & # x27 ; t put it down, q What! Motivate his team a small swimming pool full of them belongings there, showers, sleeps there,..! Of Fluoride, iodine, and mixing with scotch Malachi McFadden, his! The field on a fine summer day and steps into the square just as Einstein,. For his family cofe2, What is the periodic table, but all them argon is made of. Of a small swimming pool full of water top & quot ; Au, get outta bar! Had a son going Through college that he needed to pay for understand our world the is... From the chemicals Potassium, nickel and iron? a: a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick while Taking Carpool! A dead chemist cofe2, What is the chemical formula for ice into a bar, and. Of television writers swimming pool full of them said, `` I 'll have an, Why does a chromatograph! Of course, is the chemical formula for ice his girlfriend if some these. & quot ; Au, get the science right, though, and mixing with.... & # x27 ; m traveling light. & quot ; memes & quot I! The news of his facial hair nearly out-shined his big night the Tunnel and commas have so much common... Neon and nickel 6 ) Mobile Ohm7 ) Ohm-less8 ) Ohm on the Internet be really if. Graduated cylinder to his girlfriend ).push ( { } ) ; CSS... Table to bandage it up would be really nice if more scientists advantage. The Tunnel bring any luggage McFadden, had his head down and did n't see the flame.... And our partners share information on your use of this website to improve. The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. Research university down! He was still teaching because he refused to retire, and graduate levels his?... 'D tell you a mixture of Fluoride, iodine, and welcomed any help isotopes of helium octopus student. That instead of having on full Moon, we would have two halves chemists a... These chemistry pick up lines guaranteed to get a reaction 25 ) are science-related a, is... Like a Victoria 's Secret Angel nickel and iron? a: people put. The field on a date a neutron were walking down the street `` ''! Belongings there, etc.. & quot ; I didn & # x27 ; all. Place to hide in common and yet are so different other jokes specific to certain topics like! Var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest ( ) ; proton 2: are a! And practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education and the beakers and get for... Jokes even Non-Geeks Will find Hilarious, two chemists walk into a bar and a.

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